HEy peeps, i am back.... reason i am back?..... i am totally stressed out... wat i wanna do .. cant be done,.. wat i sacrificed for never really happen.. wat on earth is happening .... i really dunno wat to do at timess......... Loneliness is really the nightmare of all humans... guess perhaps i have shun too many pple out of my life... I dunno....

Guess i will skip my two years of hardship in army, those days passed real soon... and if to blog on them i think it will take yearsss.s....... heh

right now i just wanna blog on my days in NTU till now..

dunno how to phrase it but here goes.... when i stepped into NTU I have this motivation to drive me to study hard,... and i told myself to give up all those activities that i used to enjoy much when i was in poly. and till now I really Did... i was a super OFF KIA ,.. heh ... anyevent or so i just not go one... for wat? just to study... but then i realised that that shouldnt be the case... if like tt i would be dam crazy..... dam bored... dam NO life... however when sch work start pileing and piling up... it really become like tt....

then recently I got to know many many people. there's this someone that I and her were very close and i actually shun myself away from her ... during sch days... what i had in mind was that i was afraid that i couldnt give her the time and the care she needs. A relationship to me is a committment. and i was really afraid that my results will drop. Naturally the girl start to keep herself away from me too.. if not wrong alot of guys are also chasing after her.

then as she kept herself away from me... I start to have this regret and longing for her... I hated this feeling... this made me couldnt really concentrate and such... then i started to get close to her.. but it was too late... all was in vain.... I couldnt forgive myself that i have given away a golden opportunity..... Ihated myself... so wat's being good at books... ya relationship is a total mess ... wat's the point..... KKK I think I have fallen for her.... IS that a good thing???.. I dunno...

Cause of this reaason I am dam tired... dam pissed... and i cant concentrate... think i need to reformat my brain... forget her... and reload a new program.....

ONE thing i HATE bout myself is that I fall in LOVE TOO easily... i cant control my emotions well... and i end up hurting pple or hurting my self.... one thing is i took things for granted thinking that if things stay this way this time , it should stay the same as it would the next time...........................


Thank god ... i have got this place to throw all my sorrows and complaints here.... ya..... if u know who i am talking bout please keep it to your self k... i have already enough headaches to handle..... and sick pple will always say rubbish heh ...

talked more trash @ 5:20 PM

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